Its that time of the year – and boy oh boy am I a sucker for the Christmas season. I lap up every carols by candle light, every shiny bauble on the tree, every opportunity to shop for gifts that will excite and delight and even though its just a month  - its the best month of the year for me .

I have a dear friend who hates the very notion of Christmas. She would rather disappear to a secluded island (I think she wants to go looking for Arrow truthfully) for the month , than expose herself to the dreaded cheer and commercialization of the festive season.

My heart melts every time I hear her talk in this way. You see even in my “older” age I still have a deep desire to believe in Father Christmas. I love the idea of a kind man generously giving to others and making dreams come true. I love the excitement on xmas eve, where even the slightest noise could be him, sliding down my chimney, to deliver my hearts desires.

I hold onto the memory of that night I saw the clouds across the moon, on xmas eve, many years ago and I am still adamant they weren’t clouds at all ….but the shadow of The man himself, riding his sleigh , all reindeers leading from the front.

I choose to believe in Father Christmas because he symbolises giving, love, family unity and excitement. So you can imagine my devastation when my 9 year old daughter asked me if Santa was real or was it me ?

After discussions with my respected elders, I was given this letter to copy and give to my daughter. I am not ready to give it to her this year, I feel she can still be convinced that he is real … but I fell in love with the words this mother wrote and know you will love it too.

So whether you use it for your questioning children or you use it as a symbol of the power of believe and choose – it doesnt matter , just take the time to read it !

Written by Martha Brockenbrough.  marthabee.com.

Dear Lucy,

Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.

Mama

Source :  http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa

Watching rugby is a fantastic way to spend the weekend in South Africa and last weekend was no different for most … that is if you like drinking beer, shouting at the TV and eating Boerewors off the braai. For me it was a little less enticing but when the whole household is participating – you do feel obliged to quietly endure the afternoon. As the referee once more shouted out the instructions “Crouch, Touch, Pause and Engage” I got to thinking about the similes in life where a referee of our own, a parent, a pastor, a teacher or a manager, gives us the same instructions and how effective those commands are in reality.

The SHL Global Assessments Trends report for 2012[i] indicates that the engagement and retention of employees and leadership development respectively were the top two priorities for businesses in 2012. More than 5000 of the HR professionals that took part in the survey are from South Africa.

It is really encouraging to read that the focus of our industry leaders and major corporations is on sustainability in the workforce and development of future leaders.  The corporate executive “referees” in this economy certainly seem to have the right intentions and game plan in place.

The question is how much do we actually know about our talent? Are they the future leaders? Are they worth investing in career wise? Do these employees align with the purpose, culture, vision and values of the overall business? And likewise …Do the employees see themselves as part of the culture, growth and future of the organisation?

Interview assessments, personality profiles and performance appraisals can assist in providing some insight into these employees but how much of our selection process is based on less than objective decisions?  Decisions that possibly suit the direct manager or the bottom line, more than they suit the overall strategic intentions of the business.

The reason for this question arises from the basis of two further statistics in the SHL report:

•       More than 80% of respondents said their organizations link talent decisions to broader business objectives and goals. However, less than half indicated that their organizations use information about their talent to drive overall business decisions.

And secondly

•       Only over a third of HR professionals cited career development as a top priority. Likewise, fewer HR professionals are using it as a retention strategy and fewer are offering a formal way for employees to find new careers internally.

If we are not driving our business with the existing talent we ourselves selected and recruited and we are not allowing them to grow and develop in their careers either, then how do we expect them to stay on? Be loyal? Be productive? How do we expect fantastic retention statistics, great BEE scorecards, phenomenal ROI or sustainable succession plans?

As I ponder over this thought, my attention is drawn back to watch the scrum of 16 players lock heads and push hard and all 912 kgs of the South African team collapses in a very heavy heap on the field. Is this true for organisations too?  Is there someone standing with a whistle at the top of the corporate ladder, shouting “employed, work ,stagnate “ and employees do everything in their power to just stay on their feet, to stay in the game.

The reality is that unfortunately, this is true in some ways, as every person in the organisation has limiting beliefs that they may not even be aware of. These beliefs are pushed onto others unconsciously and they affect the way we speak to people, the “departmental and hierarchy cliques” we form, the people we employ and the people we work out of our team. These unconscious perceptions result in actions and behaviours that are damaging to both relationships and performance in the workplace.  They make our workplace scrums weak as we might just be working against each other, instead of driving forward together.

The time has come where leaders need to do more than just set the strategic objectives in place. Leaders need to understand more about themselves and their own natural leadership style and similarly more about their employees and their vulnerabilities too. They need to become aware of their stereotypes and biases, the glass filters that they wear when viewing others. They need to encourage difference of opinions and ideas, in order to generate creative solutions and see the potential in diverse personalities within their teams.

The ideal of course, is to work towards an organisation that is engaging to employees. An inclusive environment where people of all cultures can communicate, create and grow both as individuals and as part of the business, in a safe and productive way. An organisation with 21^st century leaders.

David MacLeod, the UK co-author of the 2009 independent report for the Department for Business (BIS), Engaging for Success  said earlier this year “Conscious or not, this is the philosophy of most employees – ‘I am not a human resource. I am not human capital. I am a human being. If treated like a human being, I will make a greater contribution.’ Acknowledging that philosophy is key to employee engagement and therefore to economic success,” [ii]

Whose responsibility is it to action this Nirvana? This HR “defining moment”, that is far too often spoken and written about but ends up as idealist heresy from yet another desperate HR professional?

Actually it’s easier than we think. Shankar Vedantam, author of the Hidden brain, explains it as “the voice in our ear when we make the most important decisions in our lives – but we are never aware of it”.[iii] Becoming aware of our unconscious biases is the responsibility of each and everyone one of us, as individuals and as leaders. We each have a obligation to ensure that the decisions we make, we people we interact with and the organisations we lead are done so with a deep awareness of self – your own perceptions, thoughts and beliefs and furthermore an awareness and understanding of others.

It is time for leaders and employees to focus on accountability and action and to have those honest conversations that trigger the change we want to implement. Only then can recruitment become truly objective, performance management fair, retention mutually beneficial to the employer and employee and for engagement to become the essence of inclusion and great business practise.

“Engage, Retain, Lead!”

Written for The People Development Team October 2012

I’m not sure if its because winter is taking its toll in the Southern hemisphere or if it is “That time of the year” but everyone I speak to seems to be feeling a little less energetic, a little more frazzled and quite bluntly “fed up” with their lives.

It could be SAD (seasonal Affective disorder) affecting us adversely, but honestly, in South Africa, where it is still heavenly blue skies above for the majority of the winter day (even when it Is -5 degrees outside)  I struggle to think we qualify completely for this disorder.

I struggle the most with this lethargy and misery, not in my own business or with my customers, but in my own family.

They are generally an upbeat bunch, who receive constant reminders on Self esteem and proactive coaching tools from their “Girl guide, always prepared” mother. So when they come home from school and work respectively and just sit on the couch whining, arguing and complaining – I start to get a little worried.

Its time for me to fill up their buckets….. Their own, unique love buckets.

Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman ? As a mum, as a wife and as a friend and coach , this simple yet powerful knowledge has helped me so much. I’ll try to explain how I use it .

We all have different ways of feeling ,receiving and giving love , the 5 basic ways are :

• Words of affirmation
• Gifts
• Quality time
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

I got to know my children and husbands love languages so I could love them better and be loved back better. I have changed the way I communicate with them now because of this knowledge. I know what love they need to receive, I recognise when their hearts are empty, I know how to best fill those buckets quickly and the majority of the time we fix family issues promptly. Here are some examples ;

When my son is lying all over me, digging his elbows and skinny knees into my stomach and acting like a big blob of jelly, I know his heart is empty and needs love from me  - love in the form of physical touch. Rather than shove him away and tell him he is annoying me, I hold him close with both arms, kiss him to death with zurbits and sloppy kisses and within a minute or two he is off to play again. When my daughter steals money out of my purse to buy me a gift from school ,I have to look deeper than the act of theft – I understand that she needs to show and receive her love through Gifts and therefore needs to be rewarded with money so she can save for gifts (rather than steal).

I use the analogy of a bucket when I refer to their hearts. I take some time to give them exactly what they need…. and before I know it their buckets are full again and they become the cheerful, inspired, purposeful family I love so very much.

The same works for me too. When I am down and out there is nothing better than the medicine of uninterrupted quiet time cuddling. Dont buy me a gift (I may not like it yet feel obliged to lie about how much I love it and how well you know me) , don’t use clichés to motivate me and please don’t leave me to go wash the dishes because you think that will cheer me up – I’m a time and touch kind of girl and that’s how my bucket will runneth over !!!!

So the next time you are feeling sad,  I’m not going to hold your bucket for you but I am going to help you fill it and trust me as soon as it is full you will find the energy and enthusiasm to continue with each and every area of your life – full of love ( …and  you will have a secret tool on how to fill other peoples buckets too !!!)

Here is the link to a free assessment : Click on the block that is most like youhttp://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and answer the questions. You will discover your strongest love language or way you like to give and receive love.

Then if this August is dragging along painfully and you don’t feel you can do too much of anything right now ……Just do these 2 things  ;

• Spend the rest of the week observing how loved ones fill your bucket and how you fill theirs.
• Tell the important people in your life how they can help you and fill up your bucket with love and go out of your way to fill up others buckets too.

Its really easy to do – spreading the love will help you get back on track I promise.

Love will melt the stuckness away!

Yes its a deep topic for me today and it has resonated from a couple of tough choices I may need to make soon. Running your own business definitely highlights the ups and downs on the rollercoaster we call “the economy” and right now I feel like I’m flying upside down , at full speed,without a safety belt, into a roller coaster abyss. Mmmmm , What to do ?

I thought I would analyse the economy for myself, the only way I know how … enjoy!

I believe the greatest challenge facing our economy is the lack of responsibility many people have towards their own personal growth and potential. If people knew what they really wanted out of life they would be able to make stress-free choices instead of grim, heavy burdened decisions , take pivotal action instead of plodding along aimlessly and enthuse themselves rather than search for often illusive, external resources of motivation.

Taking responsibility and completely owning the “best for me” choices we make, is attached to the bigger purpose of our lives and would ultimately lead to an increase in personal productivity, superior health and wellness and an enriched outlook on life.

If each person no longer saw themselves as Victims of society but as Heroes and Goddesses of their own destiny, they would know that getting up early to go to their “job” was a choice. That working hard had personal, meaningful results and that ultimately the once perceived “slog” that they were undertaking, had a greater fulfilment; a life worth living, a big picture.

This I honestly believe, would have knock on effects for businesses that employed, entrepreneurs who ventured out on their own and ultimately …the entire economy.

I was wondering what I could write about this week, what lessons I could share with you and how I could stay in a place where I am vulnerable and true to myself. I am madly in love with my husband and after spending a wonderful weekend away with him and then receiving such strength and support from him yesterday, I kind of knew in my heart ….it had to be about love.

As I sat down to sieve through the drafts of ideas and content that I am forever jotting down for future use, I accidently came across this blog entry I was asked to write for an international site , after our wedding in 2011. The theme was around marriage reflecting specific cultures and the definition of marriage in South Africa but as I wrote a realized that my message was not South African specific , it was a universal one, one for anyone who believes in love.

I share this post with you today , enjoy xxxxx

While writing my speech for our wedding reception, I was overwhelmed with pride and amazement, reflecting on our incredible story of true love and romance. I wiped a tear away and silently put a question out to the universe “How and where could I share what I had just written, with the rest of the world? “ Little did I know that the universe would actually manifest this request into reality for me. Yet here I am, editing the speech I said 3 months ago, for the world to enjoy and hopefully resonate with? It’s the stuff my dreams are made of.

A thought or two may cross your mind at this point in time, a) why was I writing a speech as the bride at this wedding? And b) why on earth would I want to share such an intimate document with complete strangers, the world over?

Well to put it bluntly, Im not your conventional bride. Not one, who sits quietly at the main table, raising her glass when appropriate and nodding approvingly at worthy comments, while the rest of the wedding party performs their ceremonial duties. I like having my “2 cents worth”, as we say in South Africa and I also thoroughly enjoy going against the grain of tradition, should the opportunity arise. Call it the hypothetical “wooden spoon” in me, which likes to stir things up every once in a while.

Secondly, to have the platform where I could publically express my deepest heartfelt love and gratitude for my incredible husband was just the most spectacular honour and a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. To then be given an opportunity to share our story with the rest of the world was created, by an abundant need to spread a message to other romantics, a message of both hope and trust in the true meaning of love and marriage.

Now to give you a bit of the history behind this momentous occasion, I thought I would let you know a bit about how we first met!

Barry, a systems analyst, aged 29 and I, a life coach and trainer, aged 34, met on the 13th June 2009, in a small pub. Both of us had been taken there by caring people, who were baby-sitting us, after our respective divorces, trying to cheer us up.

Barry (then still a stranger to me) had to literally rescue me, after being subjected to my desperate grasp and plea for help, as I got dragged onto the dance floor by some dodgy creature of a man, who was trying to be an eligible suitor of some kind. Barry was my knight in shining armour, literally sweeping me off my feet on the dance floor and he still is my knight, to this very day.

We moved in with each other about 3 months after we met and most of our family and friends were very surprised and silently sceptic, as it was relatively soon after both our divorces. But nothing could stop us, this was what we wanted and we both knew it was right from the very start.

In September 2010, on a spring weekend away, near the Kruger Park in Mpumalanga, Barry proposed to me and made me the happiest lady alive. The day was the true definition of love for us. No false pretences, no fancy make up, no posh champagne, no “blow your socks off I definitely can’t say no to that huge rock” kind of ring. Just Barry, Me, my hideous “just woken up” hairdo, the wild wart hogs and 2 bottles of castle light Beer – pure bliss!

Barry and I are extremely compatible both as life partners and as responsible parents. We both dearly love our family of three children, Sydney, my daughter of 8, Tye, my son of 4 and Barry’s son Jared, also aged 4.  One of main goals is to nurture, teach and provide for our children in all ways, for the rest of our lives.

We also honestly and openly admit that we thoroughly love our “date” weekends too, when our children go to stay at our respective “ex’s” homes for the weekend. We are really grateful that we have time just for each other, for ourselves and to reconnect after a hard, totally “Kid focused” week of homework, fighting at the dinner table over what veggies to be eaten and endless early mornings and routine bath times. Again this may sound awfully unconventional but we are the envy of many of our “honest” non-divorced friends with children, who never get a single weekend alone together.

We communicate well, we share a love for nature and photography and we enhance and support each other at all times. We have very different interests and hobbies, Barry is an Ice hockey player and Im a spiritual bunny and workaholic, but I will always go and support him in the freezing cold ice rink and he will always make a plan to look after the kids if I want to go to a late yoga class or join a networking group. We just “work” well together!

As well as committing our lives to each other “until death do us part”, it is important for Barry and I to have various short term goals, a 5 plan and a 10 year plan and in these plans are all our dreams and visions for our family, for our home and for our life together. They are something we both deeply treasure and look forward to achieving. We expect good times and bad, we expect struggle and success, but more than anything else we expect honesty at all times and the gift of actively listening to one another.

The plans get us through the hard times, they allow us to share our values, aspirations and ideas and passionately show our commitment to our relationship, to ourselves and our family in a very clear way. We want the very best for all of us and together as a married couple we will do whatever we need to do to make all the dreams of our children, as individuals and as a couple, a reality.

We believe it is why fate threw us together on that cold winters night, in a dodgy pub, in Edenvale. It is why, after 19, very happy months into our relationship, we decided to dedicate our lives to each other.  It’s our shared passion and our purpose in this life time.

Is this story something new? Something different? Something unique? The romantic in me truly hopes not.  Is it a marriage reflecting specific cultures and definitions of marriage in South Africa? I would not say so.

I suppose what I believe it is, is a simple story. A true story, of two sad divorcees, who had lost all hope and who no longer believed in the sanctuary of marriage, whose worlds got turned around when they fell madly in love and who together, took a huge leap of faith when the world advised them not to.

It’s a story that anyone, who wants to marry “for all the right reasons” , can believe in, it’s a story that scorned lovers and the lonely can keep close to the heart and reaffirm their belief that love can happen to them .

Its a story about picking yourself up after a failure, learning valuable lessons about yourself and what you are prepared to accept and expect in the future, moving forward, fearlessly.

True love does exist, authentic and meaningful marriage is a reality, everything happens for a reason and all we can do, is have faith that its exactly how its supposed to be , right now, in this moment!

Barry and Michelle Tandy got married on the 22nd January 2011 in Knysna, on the beach at Buffalo Bay, one of the most beautiful places in South Africa.

As I was writing the first part of this article last Monday little did I know that I would be using my own advice quite a bit in the week that followed. The article helped me in so many ways to get unstuck and Ill give a few examples how it helped. First it was a life saver as I had a group of ladies over for a life coaching session and hadn’t had any time to prepare anything specific for them – so I used the article and the first 5 steps to get them started. Then I made a huge shift in my life through a chakra meditation and received fantastic answers from the universe because I let go and trusted impilicitly.

By the end of the week I had generated tons of money, opened myself up to receiving and possibilities from the universe and in the process had taken responsibility once again for my success and authenticity.

Sometimes these tools may seem a little simple, a bit hard to believe or even, as one of my male customers said, Naïve. The point is that they are those things and so much more and the major lesson for me was that the more I shift, take responsibility and trust, the more I receive, grow and believe ……and the best part, its effortless success when compared to the way the rest of the “corporate world” operates. It is not hard work, just a little commitment and effort to start well, the rest just follows – How fab!

In part one of this article, I gave you some really easy tools to get you out of the Stuckness. Hopefully you have lifted yourself out of that sinking sand and have managed to pull your ostrich head out of the duvet covers to action the first 5 Steps. To refresh your memory, here they are again:

• Shift
• Tools
• Authenticity
• Responsibility
• Trust

I would love to know which ones you tried out for yourself, which ones where your favourite or had the best results. Please remember to comment on this post and give me your feedback – I love to hear your thoughts and views. It’s a real gift to me!

Here is this week’s tools, in my next Acronym for START:

Serve

At the base of everyone’s true purpose is a need to serve others and this does not mean slavery by any means. To serve in this context means to be of use, to contribute, to be of purpose.  To assist others in any of these ways will make you feel useful and worthy and push you right out of the sinking sand of negativity. Who can you serve? Maybe it’s a family member or a friend that needs you or maybe it’s someone outside of your immediate circle. Find a charity, church, event or Non-profit organisation you are able to volunteer your time too in some way

Thoughts

When you are stuck, pay careful attention to what you are thinking because you are doing it all the time and it could just be the poison that is restricting you both physically and mentally. A good way to become more aware of your thoughts is to write them down. Give it a shot, you will be amazed what comes out – good or bad, get them out of your head if they are not serving you well!

Answers

Ever woken up from a dream and thought “Gosh that’s it, the answer I am looking for” or been in the car and the radio and billboards you drive past all seem to be giving you a message? Don’t ignore them. Write the messages and answers down and then see what you can do to actually make them happen – it’s a wonderful “things to do” list, full of purpose and potential and a great way to start a “stuck” day!

Receive

There are many cycles in life and the one I believe is a crucial element to our personal development is what I call the “Gift Cycle” It’s the cycle of giving and receiving and the cycle must have both actions in order to spin round productively. When you are stuck, you need to do two things to get this cycle rotating, Provide to and accept from others.

So when you are stuck in a rut, what is it you need to do more of? Receiving from others or serving others? (Clue – It’s the one you don’t do enough of).

Thanks

It’s mainly because of our parents and teachers that we are all very good at minding our manners and always saying please and thank you at the right time. Thank you though, goes a lot further than just manners. Giving thanks or being grateful is a fundamental part of getting unstuck.

Gratitude is a process whereby we get to think of all the things we have in our life, the good and the bad experiences and all the special people and moments we have shared. Its about reflecting on the abundance in our lives and acknowledging how truly “lucky” we are. (I put Lucky in inverted commas because there is no luck, its all happening as it is supposed to. There are no mishaps.) When we get really grateful for all of the above we enter a state of what I like to call “Humbled euphoria” This is the moment where you sit quietly, crying tears of humility, yet bursting with overwhelming joy as you realise the magnitude of gifts of growth and experience that have been given to you.  If you are stuck, its time to really say Thank you!

Lastly, I leave you with my analogy on running the Comrades marathon, which is happening soon. When a person makes the enormous commitment to run the comrades marathon (either up or down, they are both daunting projects) you will never hear the word “Try “come out of their mouths. They don’t get up one morning and say I am going to Try and run the Comrades, they get up and train. They train and train and train. In the gym, on the road, completing other road races and marathons and eating the correct foods. They train non-stop to get their bodies in peak condition, preparing for the physical challenges that lie ahead of them.

I use this analogy because if we want to change our life, get out of this deep abyss of misery or plain old ordinary existence, then we have to train too. We have to train our brains just as hard as the Comrades runner. We have to exercise them every day in different ways, we have to reach the goals we set out for ourselves and run the marathons we have created in our thoughts and beliefs. We too need to eat the right foods, socialise with like-minded people and train our brains with books, visualisations and the tools I am giving you in these two posts.

If you would like to succeed, then I suggest you take “Try” out of your vocabulary and replace it with “train”   – Start now!  Have a great week!

Images courtesy of http://www.dreamstime.com/free-photos

Today has been a funny day of ups and downs – more downs than ups this morning and that’s why I found myself surrendering to “the way it is” and I decided to do a Chakra meditation…. the only answer I knew I could manage to take action on and complete.

I did the meditation, answered a few emails and then sat pointlessly staring at my laptop…. mmmm I thought, what next?

I then realised that I have been blessed with the freedom to have a day like this , a day that’s not perfectly productive and super successful… a day I can just allow to be what it is!

I was so grateful at that moment and then I said it ….”How can it get better than this? “Meaning it in the most sincere way possible, as I didn’t think it could get better than allowing myself to be in the moment when everyone else may be in a job they don’t like or doing something that is not there passion.

But it did get better – tremendously so!

I received a lovely email from a dear colleague who offered her help and her last sentence was…..

“Hang in there girl, an answer will be coming your way” .

Straight after I got a call from a customer who wanted me to partner up with him to do some training.

I was sort of back on the productive track – but my boss (that’s me) said well its Friday afternoon now so don’t do too much! (Still quite out of character for a person who has Percy the Perfectionist as an Ego monster). I suddenly realised it was month end and as I was paying myself first (A valued tip I learnt in a Money Magic course I attended) I discovered that I needed to invoice out R18 000 for services I provided during the month and hadn’t billed for yet – and they were for fantastic paying customers, so I know I’ll have that money in my account by next week.

In my financial excitement I forgot that I was picking my daughter up early today from school , so by the time I got there, I was met by School parking mayhem and chaos, as all the mums fought their way through one way streets.

I wasn’t in the mood to do the SUV nudge with the other ,suddenly very aggressive, mummies so there was nothing I could do but take a deep breath and patiently drive around the block expecting to do that at least 4 -5 times before I could park somewhere.

How can it get better than this? I asked myself for the second time in one day, this time a little more questioning than the first .Well on my first drive around I drove straight into a parking and …. Yep you guessed it, right in front of the school gate – no stress, no panic, just a very happy daughter and Mummy!

So I went from Stuckness to Euphoria, just by using three great tools from my coaching tool box:

• Surrender
• Meditation  and
• “How can it get better than this?”

I just want to make a point at this stage; a purpose coach has “off” days too just like the rest of the world, even when we have all the tools at our disposal.

Just as a doctor can still get sick, even though he knows how to heal and cure most illnesses, we all need some of our own medicine sometimes – even if it is just to keep ourselves authentic … and real!

Next time you are doubting or needing some assistance,I recommend that you try it for yourself. 7 little words that form a universal question with powerful , inspiring answers “How can it get better than this?”

Thank you to Nicky from Towards Health for empowering me with this tool.

For more stories on this incredible tool, go to Nicky’s business site  at http://www.towardshealth.co.za/inspiration.html

We live in a world where we are constantly driven to be better, stronger, richer, fitter … and so the list goes on. All in all, it’s a fantastic trait that we have, because we are always looking for ways to enhance our growth and leave a legacy that’s worth something.

The only bad part of our desire as human being to keep pushing ourselves is that we are our own worst enemies, often driving ourselves to illness , stress, melt downs and what I like to call the dreaded “Stuckness “.

Here’s how I believe we move out of the “Stuckness” and START.

1.       Shift

My number one tip is to shift, anyway you can. To shift means to move, so think about which area of your life you are stuck in and step away from it , move around it , step through it , push it away. You can do this by getting physically active, spend some time in nature, escape to a movie, Dance, meditate, float in a bath ……do what you love.

2.       You need the right Tools

When a bolt is stuck tight or a key is stuck in a door we reach for our bottle of “fix it” grease without a second thought and spray like crazy until the object starts to loosen. The same applies to your life – invest in a good bottle of “self-help” by going to see a purpose coach, head off to your favourite book store for an inspirational book or sit quietly , breathe and listen to what your heart is telling you (not your head ) and action accordingly. Once you have your preferred tool – spray like mad until you start to feel freer!

3.       Authenticity

In my coaching practise I have come across many customers who believe they are stuck and when we investigate a little deeper into the meaning of that for them , one thing often pops up “ I am trying to be who everyone else wants/needs me to be “. No wonder they are stuck. We can try as hard as we can to be somebody else but this becomes hard work for the brain and ends up sapping all of our energy. Say good bye to the “fakeness” and the hard work and get to know what you really like to do and be … just for you.

4.       Responsibility

There is only one person who can get you out of this trap you are in and Im sure you have heard it before …..You! Yep its time to take responsibility for your predicament. Ask yourself honestly, is it time for me to make a change? Do I feel like Im on the right path? Am I energised doing what I am doing at the moment? Remember it’s easy to be irresponsible and it takes a lot less effort, but were you born just to accept? I think not!

5.       Trust

Oh dear the big” T” word, what does that have to do with me being in a rut? We need to trust in the universe, your God, fate, coincidence and in time itself. We need to believe that at this exact moment in time that every experience and event is serving us as it is needed to. We need to trust that there is a bigger plan and that our part in it, is rolling out smoothly, even if we consciously feel like it has been a hell of a bumpy ride – it’s all part of the journey. So take a deep breath, do what you can and trust!

If you haven’t noticed yet each one of the tips mentioned above are part of the acronym START and I did this for a very good reason. It’s often daunting to think of picking yourself up after a meltdown or climbing out of the sinking sand that has become your life but it can be done, step by step, small actions at a time. If all you can manage is one small shift today then do that and observe how you feel after starting, then tomorrow ……start some more.

Next week Ill send out 5 more tips to assist you in moving from Stuckness to START. So make sure you try all of these this week!

Image courtesy of http://www.chud.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/stuck-dog.jpg

I have received two answers this week with regards to happiness and the confirmation that happiness can occur irrespective of any other situation, person or event. Many of us are conditioned into thinking “I’ll be happy when…….” If this happens ….. I ll be really happy “. I call this destructive behaviour “Attachment expectations “.  They are the rules and conditions that we create with limits, that really make life difficult for us to enjoy.

I have been experimenting with what I have named “light visualisations” at gym for the last few weeks. It sound quite spiritual and “out there” but honestly it’s usually just a desperate me trying to find some deep inspiration to make it through the hour long spinning class most of the time. So at the risk of you thinking this is becoming a blog about fitness Ill digress for a minute, if you don’t mind and explain myself.

Knowing what I do know about spirituality, the universe, angels, crystals, meditations and visualisation I decided I would try and channel some physical energy that I may need for an area of my body when it got tired or sore.

I imagine that I have two test tube vials in my upper legs, Lungs, arms, calves etc. and as they got tired or ached I would imagine filling these vials full of Bright green light or as I affectionately called it “Gummy Berry Juice” as each time I imagine this bright green liquid in my body l feel like Zummi, Tummi, Grammi, Sunni and Cubbi all rolled into one. Immediately I feel a surge of power and capability in the area I focused on and I strongly pushed through the exercise I am doing at that time.

As this worked for me physically I had a really good feeling that it would work when applied to my mind and soul too.  I made a note to apply it to emotions and thought processes as they arose.

When I received my answers on Happiness I grabbed the opportunity to try out the “Light Visualisation” on choosing to be happy. I focused really hard on what happiness felt like to me by imagining a time when I defined myself as really happy. I then felt the physical effects of that moment , the smile that made my eyes glow, the butterflies in my tummy that made my heart skip a beat and then I tuned into what colour I was seeing .

For me I saw a multitude of colours that I could only compare to the reflection you see when the sun shines into a puddle of water. There are reds and blues and greens and purples all swirling around together, it’s a delicious rainbow of intense beauty.

Now that I have the colour of my happiness, I focus on that colour whenever I feel my heart is sad or my brain muscles are low on inspiration, in fact whenever I need a “Happy pill”.I imagine the colours swirling around in my heart vial , spinning faster and faster and exploding out into the rest of my body like fireworks…….. and guess what it works every time.

To get back to when to be and not to be happy, there should only be one answer, Always be happy. This doesn’t mean having to be a clown or a joker constantly nor does it mean having to laugh or smile like the Joker from Batman. It means allowing yourself to consistently feel good within yourself and about yourself, however that feels for you.It means you will project happiness out into the world, healing others magically as you go along, attracting like-minded Gummi bears, fantastic opportunities and endless opportunities and answers as you move happily along your path of purpose.

Choose a moment of pure happiness for you, feel it physically and emotionally. What colour is Happiness for you?